Monthly Archives: January 2013

Decisions. Sigh.

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Decision making is such a difficult job. We have to make decisions ALL the time! There’s no break from it! If you have even the slightest tendency to be confused,  ‘deciding’ something (Any damn thing) can be a really tough task. Trust me. The maturer you get, the better decision making skills are automatically expected from you. :/ Aah so much pressure!
Sometimes the smallest, tiniest decisions can keep your brains occupied for hours, days, and sometimes even for months!
Take for example my case. Iam in a huge dilemma ; whether to take a haircut or not???? Don’t frown! Haircuts are life altering events okay! One bad haircut and your life is ruined for the next 5-6 months! I can vouch for it that almost all girls would agree with me on this. Sigh. We girls have to make such big and important decisions on an everday basis! :p.  I’ve been in this confused state since December 2012! Just imagine!!!!! Still can’t decide whether to take a haircut now or wait for some more time? Still can’t decide the place from which I could get a nice haircut. Still can’t figure out how much money should I spend on it! Phew!

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Hoping to get out of this troublesome,  disturbing, state of confusion soon…..

Reality Check.

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We all have accounts on atleast two social networking sites. Don’t we? This is the age of social networking! These sites have become an inseparable part of our lives. And I bet 99.9% of the population can not imagine their life without these websites! Exaggeration… Is it?

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True!

The truth is, these sites, such as our favorite Facebook or Twitter or MySpace, have spoilt us too much.
This virtual social life of ours makes us feel important. More important and valued than the reality.. More like a delusion. Not just that, these sites make you less caring, personal, friendly & amiable in real life!
   The moment something special happenes to us or the second we see some funny picture or read something extraordinary, we ‘share’ it with our ‘friends’ on Facebook/Twitter etc. That’s our first instinct! To share our experience with others. We want to tell something to the world, we post a tweet and try to fit our feelings in 180 characters. We post a status update on Facebook to express whatever is going on in our mind. We upload photographs on these sites and wait for others to see them and ‘like’ them. We all know this for sure that eventually people will see and respond. And this sort of a sharing makes us feel important.
But our teeny-meeny,  shiny bubble is burst when we try doing the same in your real life. Sooner or later you realize that no one gives a damn. They’re are barely interested to hear about your thoughts, feelings & ideas. Like your beloved Facebook, they’re aren’t bothered to know ‘ what’s on your mind’. This is when you come face to face a huge reality check. And you realize that may be your virtual social network is far better than the real one.

When will it stop?

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It is so difficult being a female! So damn difficult. Iam not saying Iam not proud of it, just saying that life for a female is not easy! I’ve become so sick of all this now!
I stay in a city which is considered my country’s rape capital. And the frequency of rapes, sexual harassment cases etc are just increasing like forest fire. I don’t feel safe here. I don’t feel safe in my own country; among my very own people! Never imagined I’ll have to confess about such a thing ever. But, cant really help it, it’s the truth..! :/  Iam going to say this without any hesitation that I don’t feel safe at all while walking on the streets at ANY time of the day. It’s disgusting the way all these shameless guys look at you, as they undress you with their piercing stares! There are perverts everywhere!!!!!!! Not just on the streets, in the market or any other public place; but in the family too! Makes me feel SICK…!!
Be it a cycle rickshaw puller.. A vagabond roaming around with his ‘gang’,  passing lewd comments on any form of female species! I’ve had enough! We all have had enough!! Will this ever stop??
Who gave these males the right to make us feel so uncomfortable? They are free to do anything openly, shamelessly.. From eve-teasing to peeing on roadsides to masturbating publically! Yes! Can you imagine! Me and my roommates saw this with our own eyes, while coming back from college at 12:30 pm (Bright day light), this totally shameless idiotic man was busy masturbating away to glory on the roadside!! We were even more horrified when he saw that we saw him & turned towards our direction and started jerking more vigorously! (‘Exhibitionism’ – DSM-IV TR) .We actually had to run like hell to avoid that sight…. Ewwwwwww!! >. Anyway.. My point is, will all this ever stop? Has any of us ever seen a female eve tease another strange guy? Or peeing in public places? Who gave the males in our society this motivation? This right? The patriarchal society???? Can anybody answer?

“Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men” – Joseph Conrad

Post- holiday Conditions.

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Holidays are the best part of life. We all love holidays and can never get enough of them! Can we?

Holidays tend to hold some extra value when your college is miles away from home and you live in a hostel with people you are not particularly very fond of. And for a total family person like me, holidays are awaited throughout the year 🙂

These vacations were more special because I got to be at my home sweet home for about 47 days! (Woah!! 😮 ) And had a terrific experience doing an internship in the Vodafone Human Resources department. Parting from home as well as family members was a little more difficult this time. 😦

Anyhow.. I reached New Delhi with a heavy heart.. ( FYI: It is considered the ‘ Rape Capital’ of India :/ )
Being in this city, in my dull college and hostel is never a ‘good’ enough experience for me. I feel a lack of zeal.. Lack of will.. Lack of any positive emotion! Every morning I literally have to drag my feet to go the college, which by the way is an All-Girls college :/ ( May be now you can better understand my plight). To top all this, we have the chilly, sunlight-less winters here. Argh!

Apart from my pale & wan college life, is my hostel life. Wherein all my hostel mates seem to be extremely impersonal and unbothered (if that’s a word!) . Ofcourse Iam also the reason for this lack of cohesiveness.. I never feel like getting attached to them. I feel no connection at all. Major demerits of being a little misanthropic. All this adds up to my on-going home sickness and feelings of loneliness all the more!!!

Anyway….. The Oh-So-Famous Delhi University fest season is around. Hope that helps to lift my spirits up! Waiting to get rid of these post holiday jitters & home-sickness as soon as possible..!!  Wish me luck! 🙂