Monthly Archives: February 2013

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Too often! :/

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Iam my Valentine.

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I’ve always felt Valentine’s days is just an over-hyped, fake, wannabe kind of a day. It should be celebrated as a day for loving oneself  ( take it in whichever sense you want, naughty minded people :P) rather than another person (or persons). Many people abhor the oh-so-awaited V-day because they are single & don’t have anybody else to celebrate it with. Well, I’m just like them 🙂 . Though I’m not at all gloomy about my singlehood! Mind you.
Recently I’ve realized a lot of things about myself. One of the many self confessed revelations was, that I’m a little misanthropic. Yes, I admit it. I dislike most people. Okay, almost all of them. It’s an extremely difficult task for me to ignore other people’s negative traits. (Example: ABC is a nice girl. She makes disgusting sounds while chewing food. I don’t like her!! :/ ) or (XYZ is a nice girl, but she’s always praising me.. Too sweet for me.. Naah. I don’t like her) . Hope Iam not coming across as a neurotic nut-case here 😛 I can’t help it! I like a very very very few people (such as, my favourite family members, my bestestest friends etc). Biggest confession time: The only person who I really “like” (read LOVE) in this whole wide world is …. None other than …ME!!!! 😉 Phew! I said that out aloud atlast!
Anyway.. While millions of people indulge in the conventional V-day customs.. I decided to dedicate this day to myself. No other human being, but me, myself. 🙂

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Sweeet V-day treat. Yum!

Bought my all time favourite chocolate bar, multi-colored pens (which has my favourite Hrithik Roshan on the cover :P), a bottle of my favourite cola drink, treated my skin nicely with a soothing facepack, listened to some romantic music,  also bought myself heart shaped balloons.. Did a lot of other stuff; not going to mention everything here. *winks* .

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Thought of studying Developmental psychology. Yeah. Just 'thought'. 😛


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Who doesn't like multi-colored pens??

The point is, I adore myself. I really do! No kidding. I don’t love and respect anyone else more than myself. (Don’t give me that look. I’m not a freak!!!!!!). Iam my favourite person. I accept myself as Iam, with all the faults and deficiencies. I can’t help but smile whenever I look at myself in the mirror! When I look around and observe other people , I always feel good about myself (And a little proud of myself too). I feel so much more wise, calm, composed, honest, REAL, mature, compassionate, focused, well-mannered…. I could never stop!!!! Don’t confuse me with someone who is totally self-obsessed, a narcissist or egomaniacal. It’s just pure admiration and adoration for oneself. Nothing more.
And I’m sure nobody else would ever be able to love me more. And the most important thing, I would never leave me. Never.  ^_^

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Iam unconditionally, passionately and irrevocably in love with myself. :*

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Horrifying loneliness.

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Iam not a very sociable person. Rather I’m slightly socially introverted (not making it up. MMPI-2 results = proof). And like many of you, I enjoy ‘alone time’ too.Sometimes. But usually, at most times, I don’t like being alone. I just have to have people around. Not because I need them for talking but just for sake of feeling their presence.
Today is thirteenth February, and Iam all alone as both my roommates have abandoned me one day before the over-hyped Valentine’s day. Ok. Not exactly.. They’ve gone home because of important domestic reasons. So, basically Iam all alone right now. And it is kind of freaking me out. I can only hear NOTHING.. Everything is still.. As if whatever happening in the world has stopped happening all of a sudden. As if no other human being exists in this world except me! I have to survive through this scary loneliness for 3 more days!! :-{  Thankfully I’m blessed with the benign company of my cellphone. My phone makes being alone less horrifying 🙂

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Room Alone

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Dr.Shepherd, Why aren’t you real?

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I started watching Grey’s Anatomy recently, from season 5th.. I’d like to admit that I’ve become a total addict of this show. I watch it everyday without fail (on Star World, Mon-Fri). I get so deeply engrossed in all the medical cases they show and the doctors’ personal lives.. I love this show, totally!

And now a major, life-altering event has occurred in my life. My mother has been diagnosed with Brain tumor.
The devastating news shook me and all our family members. I kept questioning the almighty, Why do all bad things happen to her only? This is so unfair! Life is so damn unfair!! But then I also thanked God from the core of my heart when I got to know her’s is not a malignant tumor. Phew! Such a relief! She has something called ‘Meningioma’: a tumor which starts growing on the covering of the brain ( meninges). And the size of her tumor is 4X4X4 cm. Surgery is the ONLY treatment. And her surgery is scheduled somewhere in the next week. I’m glad I’ll be there with her all throughout the time as the surgery is going to happen in my city.
Although I have no doubts about this place and it’s experienced Neurosurgeons, as it is Indian Army’s best medical hospital. We are blessed with really good medical facilities and availability of subsidized medicines because of my father, who’s an officer in the Indian Armed Forces.

But still…… I SO wish Doctor Derek Shepherd from Grey’s Anatomy was real! !!!! 😦 I would have felt no tension at all if my mom’s brain was in his expert hands! In the show he’s been portrayed as the ‘Neuro God’, one of Best Neuro surgeons in the world..!

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Dr.Shepherd, I wish you were REAL!

I feel so sad that he’s just a character and non-existent in real life! 😥