Lowest..

Standard

What can a person do when their feeling low Or as in my condition -at their lowest ? I’m sure I can find hundreds of articles answering this question on Google. As a matter of fact , I myself have given tips/advice to people who were feeling gloomy a million times.

However, everything seems useless once you are in that position yourself.

I feel so close to hitting rock bottom today. Since I’m good at self-introspection, I know the exact reasons why I’m feeling this way. How I wish knowing the antecedents could help me in any way!

If only returning from an amazing one-month vacation at home wasn’t a reason enough, I’m alone in my depressing room struggling with fever, severe body ache, sore throat, running nose, headache and last but not the least – Jet lag. Damn!! These are the times when one realizes living alone has it’s negatives too. Apart from the fact that there is absolutely no one to take care of you , there’s no one who is bothered enough to at least understand. Of course there are people who offer help and try to empathize, but that provides no help when you do not feel any “connection” with any of them. Apart from that it annoys me so much how people show fake concerns.. Arrgh stop it already!
I always make sure not to expect too much from others. Expectations are stupid. And people are disappointing. The ones I feel connected with, with whom I share a strong bond, the ones who would actually care are far away unfortunately. But sometimes I feel it’s unfair and selfish to expect anything from others. At the end of the day, we are all alone and must learn to be self-reliant and self-sufficient.

To add on to all that despondency, my second semester has begun & I am at a place where I feel academically incompetent. Like I can’t cope up with it. Like I have lost all the confidence. I struggled throughout my first semester and performed badly. The pressure is too overwhelming. May be it wont seem so difficult if I just try to put in more efforts. But as of now I can’t chuck the discouraged & disheartened feeling.

So, talking about my current situation: My room is a mess. My health is a mess. My hair is a mess. My face is a mess. And basically, My life is a mess.
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I can’t believe I found this on Instagram just now. What kind of a freaky coincidence is this!!! Gosh!

I am very well aware of the fact that these pathetic feelings are temporary. And as they say…everything will be alright..Things will fall into place.blah blah. Sometimes it’s just too difficult be optimistic about anything.
I’m so glad I have this blog. As always blabbering my heart out here makes me feel better & lighter. I don’t even care if anybody reads all this.

People come and go, but I at least have somewhere to let my emotions out. 🙂

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Trying…

Trying to find a ray of light………..

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11 responses »

  1. I understand how u feel . i was in ur situation too. Nobody did help. What u say is right. Expectation hurts. So only person who helped me was me myself. I had to believe in self . and gradually showed the resilience

  2. … deep down, life is always a mess, even when things appear prosperous. and the only thing that helps when I realize this, are hugs. so hugs to you, and more hugs, even when you think you don’t need it, for your savings account of hugs …. 🙂

  3. I wish I could say something uplifting right now, but I could have written this myself today and am not much help! 😉 But thank you for writing it and putting words to what I’ve been turning over in my head as I shove cookie dough into my face and worry incessantly (pretty sure those lines between my brows are going to stay). I hope our loved ones wake up and give us the attention and affection we deserve!

    • Thank you so much for commenting 🙂 Iam glad you could relate to what i was going through. Be strong and just realize this is temporary. We all have to go through our share of rainy days 🙂 Good luck!

  4. We all have those days. My motto is feel what you need to feel when you need to feel it instead of “masking” like we so often do. When I wake up on the wrong side of the bed the next morning I get out on the other side, lol, determined today to start cleaning up those little messes. I love your blog, so genuine.

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