Existential crisis ?


I’m thinking about a million things while tears are streaming down my face nonstop. The comedy show playing on Netflix isn’t helping. So many feelings! So many emotions! This feels like weird kind of pain. Difficult to express or explain to anybody. Is this how it is going to be forever? Endless suffering all alone? I really wish I was like a typical guy; running away from my feelings & emotions , and not feeling the need to talk about them with someone. Sucks to be a sensitive female. Why does life have to be so hard? As I try to wipe my never ending tears , I’m thinking about my mom’s words. Constantly telling me that I’m devoid of emotions. How do I tell her that I’m the opposite of what she thinks of me. How do I tell her about the uncountable number of times I cried myself to sleep? 

I can’t help but wonder about the purpose of this life. What is the point of it? It is just an endless vicious cycle of ups and downs. Whenever something good happens, it just means that something bad is right around the corner. 

The truth is life is a constant struggle and one has to struggle with it all alone. You are all alone in the world. All alone. On your own. 

When will this end? This shitty struggle of a life. 


2 responses »

  1. “Sucks to be a sensitive female.”

    Truer words have never been spoken.
    I find it sucks the most in attempting to find others that can match and beat my personal growth/strength. I recently wrote to an acquaintance- Who carries the strong?

    I used to tell an old love of mine, “I want to live a pointless, meaningless life with you.”
    It was our version of ‘I love you more than anything else.’ And I still stand by that being some of the most comforting conversation I’ve had with another human.

    Pardon my rambling. It’s late.
    And I felt drawn to this dark, rambling post of yours. ::smiles::

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