People are stupid.

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Wow. Didn’t expect it to feel this weird.
I am writing on my blog after three months, and to be honest I sure did miss being here!

Just to quickly walk you through the major reasons why I decided to write today even though I have four big submissions due in 3 effing days (Man, Grad school is such a pain in the neck!).. Firstly, I’m hormonal ( PMS is a bitc*, right ladies?). The level & frequency of my over-thinking has doubled, my emotions are going crazy, the evil pms hormones are making me have drastic erratic mood swings , and, well is there a need for more?? Secondly, I was very recently let down by a good friend. Not sure if I must still address that person as my “good friend”. I am so pissed right now that I’m having thoughts like having no expectations from anyone EVER, not to trust another person ever, and so on.

It is not the first time another human being disappointed me & led me to think this way. It has obviously happened before. I mean come on, lets face it, people are idiots. Yes, they’re all jerks. It is never a good idea to expect anything from others. Trust me, 90 percent of the times you will fall flat on your face. You might argue that I’m being too harsh mainly because I’m pms-ing. Well, you are probably right. Anyhow, knowing that wouldn’t stop me from writing this post.

So where was I ? Oh yes. People are jerks. To be truthful, I don’t need people in my life who wouldn’t think twice before ditching me. People who aren’t dependable. People who also have a discrepancy between what they say & what they do. Why should I voluntarily chose for such people to be close to me? Why? I can’t think of a legit answer. I mean, why the hell should I let myself be treated like this? Why should I take crap from anybody?

Others letting you down time & again is not even the worst part. The worst part is them not even realizing what they’ve done. Or realizing it yet not feeling sorry.

EXACTLY.

EXACTLY.

If you have any experiences when others let you down, ditched you or disappointed you, please do hit the like button & share your comments!

 

Lowest..

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What can a person do when their feeling low Or as in my condition -at their lowest ? I’m sure I can find hundreds of articles answering this question on Google. As a matter of fact , I myself have given tips/advice to people who were feeling gloomy a million times.

However, everything seems useless once you are in that position yourself.

I feel so close to hitting rock bottom today. Since I’m good at self-introspection, I know the exact reasons why I’m feeling this way. How I wish knowing the antecedents could help me in any way!

If only returning from an amazing one-month vacation at home wasn’t a reason enough, I’m alone in my depressing room struggling with fever, severe body ache, sore throat, running nose, headache and last but not the least – Jet lag. Damn!! These are the times when one realizes living alone has it’s negatives too. Apart from the fact that there is absolutely no one to take care of you , there’s no one who is bothered enough to at least understand. Of course there are people who offer help and try to empathize, but that provides no help when you do not feel any “connection” with any of them. Apart from that it annoys me so much how people show fake concerns.. Arrgh stop it already!
I always make sure not to expect too much from others. Expectations are stupid. And people are disappointing. The ones I feel connected with, with whom I share a strong bond, the ones who would actually care are far away unfortunately. But sometimes I feel it’s unfair and selfish to expect anything from others. At the end of the day, we are all alone and must learn to be self-reliant and self-sufficient.

To add on to all that despondency, my second semester has begun & I am at a place where I feel academically incompetent. Like I can’t cope up with it. Like I have lost all the confidence. I struggled throughout my first semester and performed badly. The pressure is too overwhelming. May be it wont seem so difficult if I just try to put in more efforts. But as of now I can’t chuck the discouraged & disheartened feeling.

So, talking about my current situation: My room is a mess. My health is a mess. My hair is a mess. My face is a mess. And basically, My life is a mess.
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I can’t believe I found this on Instagram just now. What kind of a freaky coincidence is this!!! Gosh!

I am very well aware of the fact that these pathetic feelings are temporary. And as they say…everything will be alright..Things will fall into place.blah blah. Sometimes it’s just too difficult be optimistic about anything.
I’m so glad I have this blog. As always blabbering my heart out here makes me feel better & lighter. I don’t even care if anybody reads all this.

People come and go, but I at least have somewhere to let my emotions out. :)

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Trying…

Trying to find a ray of light………..

Not again

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That feeling is returning. And I don’t know how to handle myself this time. I don’t want that phase to reappear in my life. I thought that was it. I thought I was done with uncertainties, confusions and tears.
Why is that feeling returning? Why do I keep spiraling back and forth? Is asking for a smooth life too much to ask for?
Even when I know the main trigger of my problem – Over-Thinking, I can’t seem to do anything about it.
I wish there was something/someone that/who could help me.

Arrgh. It’s so annoying how negative thoughts always find a way to creep in one’s mind.