Lowest..

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What can a person do when their feeling low Or as in my condition -at their lowest ? I’m sure I can find hundreds of articles answering this question on Google. As a matter of fact , I myself have given tips/advice to people who were feeling gloomy a million times.

However, everything seems useless once you are in that position yourself.

I feel so close to hitting rock bottom today. Since I’m good at self-introspection, I know the exact reasons why I’m feeling this way. How I wish knowing the antecedents could help me in any way!

If only returning from an amazing one-month vacation at home wasn’t a reason enough, I’m alone in my depressing room struggling with fever, severe body ache, sore throat, running nose, headache and last but not the least – Jet lag. Damn!! These are the times when one realizes living alone has it’s negatives too. Apart from the fact that there is absolutely no one to take care of you , there’s no one who is bothered enough to at least¬†understand.¬†Of course there are people who offer help and try to empathize, but that provides no help when you do not feel any “connection” with any of them. Apart from that it annoys me so much how people show fake concerns.. Arrgh stop it already!
I always make sure not to expect too much from others. Expectations are stupid. And people are disappointing. The ones I feel connected with, with whom I share a strong bond, the ones who would actually care are far away unfortunately. But sometimes I feel it’s unfair and selfish to expect anything from others. At the end of the day, we are all alone and must learn to be self-reliant and self-sufficient.

To add on to all that despondency, my second semester has begun & I am at a place where I feel academically incompetent. Like I can’t cope up with it. Like I have lost all the confidence. I struggled throughout my first semester and performed badly. The pressure is too overwhelming. May be it wont seem so difficult if I just try to put in more efforts. But as of now I can’t chuck the discouraged & disheartened feeling.

So, talking about my current situation: My room is a mess. My health is a mess. My hair is a mess. My face is a mess. And basically, My life is a mess.
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I can’t believe I found this on Instagram just now. What kind of a freaky coincidence is this!!! Gosh!

I am very well aware of the fact that these pathetic feelings are temporary. And as they say…everything will be alright..Things will fall into place.blah blah. Sometimes it’s just too difficult be optimistic about anything.
I’m so glad I have this blog. As always blabbering my heart out here makes me feel better & lighter. I don’t even care if anybody reads all this.

People come and go, but I at least have somewhere to let my emotions out. :)

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Trying…

Trying to find a ray of light………..

Not again

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That feeling is returning. And I don’t know how to handle myself this time. I don’t want that phase to reappear in my life. I thought that was it. I thought I was done with uncertainties, confusions and tears.
Why is that feeling returning? Why do I keep spiraling back and forth? Is asking for a smooth life too much to ask for?
Even when I know the main trigger of my problem – Over-Thinking, I can’t seem to do anything about it.
I wish there was something/someone that/who could help me.

Arrgh. It’s so annoying how negative thoughts always find a way to creep in one’s mind.